Employees in the Bible: Hagar and the Cost of Losing Emotional Intelligence – A leadership and workplace lesson from Genesis 16 on status, favour, and self-control
Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. And she had an Egyptian maidservant whose name was Hagar. So Sarai said to Abram, “See now, the Lord has restrained me from bearing children. Please, go in to my maid; perhaps I shall obtain children by her.” And Abram heeded the voice of Sarai. Then Sarai, Abram’s wife, took Hagar her maid, the Egyptian, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan. So he went in to Hagar, and she conceived. And when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress became despised in her eyes. – Genesis 16:1-4
We are opening our staffers or employees in the Bible subseries in this digest by considering the example of Hagar, the maidservant of Sarah, the wife of Abraham. From the passage above, we can see that Hagar lacked emotional intelligence, judging by her reaction to her mistress, Sarah, after she became pregnant as a surrogate for the couple.
From the scriptural excerpt above, we can see how Hagar came to have her status upgraded from a servant in Abraham’s household to an important member of the household through surrogacy. Before the idea of her being a surrogate mother for her master and mistress was mooted, Hagar was a maidservant whose only pleasure was to do the bidding of her lords. By the norms of that time, she arguably had no right, and her owners probably had the power of life and death over her.
Therefore, it was surprising that after Abraham and Sarah made her a surrogate for their child, and she became pregnant, a feat her mistress, Sarah, could not achieve, Hagar started despising her mistress and became ungovernable. Her reason? She was now pregnant; therefore, she was a better woman than her madam. She started behaving rudely and showed no regard for her benefactress.
This attitude betrayed a lack of emotional intelligence on the part of Hagar and also depicted her as a not so smart person, because someone wiser and smarter would have continued to honor and respect her bosses, and would not allow success to get into her head as to start to see herself as better and superior to her mistress by whose favor she had her profile elevated in the first place, and whose idea it was that Hagar be their surrogate.
How often do we see this same scenario played out in people we know or hear about? Someone who, before an encounter with a benefactor, had nothing or little to their name. However, by virtue of their encounter or association with a benefactor, which resulted in attaining a higher status than they used to have, they then start to despise or disrespect the person whose influence or contribution was key to their becoming.
That is not a very smart thing to do. We can all learn from the example of Hagar.
Entities in the Bible: The First Surrogate Parent Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. And she had an Egyptian maidservant whose name was Hagar. So Sarai said…
Entities in the Bible: The First Surrogate Parent – Understanding surrogate parenting through Hagar’s role in the Abrahamic narrative
Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. And she had an Egyptian maidservant whose name was Hagar. So Sarai said to Abram, “See now, the Lord has restrained me from bearing children. Please, go in to my maid; perhaps I shall obtain children by her.” And Abram heeded the voice of Sarai. Then Sarai, Abram’s wife, took Hagar her maid, the Egyptian, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan. So he went in to Hagar, and she conceived. – Genesis 16:1-4
As we continue to explore personalities and characters in the Bible, our searchlight today will focus on the first surrogate parent in the Bible: Hagar, Sarah’s Egyptian maidservant.
The Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary defines surrogate as “a substitute, especially a person deputizing for another in a specific role or office.” No doubt, the term and practice of surrogate parenting are commonplace today. However, it is interesting to note that this practice did not just start in our modern milieu. Rather, it was as ancient as the society itself, dating back to the BC era, as we can see in the scenario that played out in the bible passage above.
Sarah, the wife of Abraham, had become impatient at her inability to conceive and bear a child for her husband. So, she proposed that her husband sleep with her maidservant so that they could have a child through the process that would bear their name. Being a slave, Hagar, the lady involved, had no say in the matter as her master and mistress had the power of life and death over her. So, even if she did not mind, she could not decline their proposition.
However, by carrying a pregnancy for the couple, she therefore enters the book of record as the first person to be a surrogate parent.
Couples in the Bible: Adam and Eve – the Disobedient Duo So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes,…
Couples in the Bible: Adam and Eve – the Disobedient Duo
So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both of them were opened… – Genesis 3:6-7
We will still continue our exploration of married couples in the Bible today by focusing on Adam and Eve. This term, they are a disobedient pair, as opposed to the rather positive attribute we read about them yesterday.
Sadly, the first act as a couple that we read about Adam and Eve was them being disobedient to God by eating the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Some would argue that Eve brought it all upon her family by accepting to eat the fruit in the first place and then passing it to her husband. Some would also contend that Adam should have been the man and not accept the fruit from his wife, not to talk of eating it himself. Afterall, haven’t God expressly warned and forbidden him from touching it? However, the summary is that they both ate the fruit and, by so doing, they both disobeyed God.
Now, one person falling or making a mistake in a marriage, or any partnership for that matter, is bad enough. But if the two parties in the marriage fall or make similar mistakes, that can be disastrous. Why so? Because God designed partnership, particularly marriage, so that each party can lean on and strengthen the other during their moments of weakness, as it is bound to be because uptimes and downtimes are part of life, at least on this hemisphere.
Consider this:
Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. – Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
This passage sums up God’s thinking on the essence of partnership. It is for mutual support, as no one will ever remain standing strong all the time. Therefore, a partner is needed to provide support and to help the faltering party to weather the storms of life.
It was this critical lesson that seemed to have been lost to Adam that after his wife fell and came to him with her proposition, he did not provide the support she needed by resisting the temptation in her hand and charge to tackle the serpent for taking advantage of his partner so. Rather, he also fell with her and they both thus set an unwanted example for their offerings after them.
Adam and Eve – the Cozy Couple And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. – Genesis 2:25 It is heartwarming that the first…
Adam and Eve – the Cozy Couple
And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. – Genesis 2:25
It is heartwarming that the first married duo in recorded history, in the persons of Adam and Eve as seen in the Holy Bible, can be described as a cozy couple.
Our reference passage today says it all: they were both naked in the garden and were also very conscious of each other’s nakedness, but each party was neither ashamed of his or her own nudity nor despise the other party’s nakedness. They were that comfortable with each other.
It is pertinent to state that this was before they both ate the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, as that could be used to explain away their carefreeness about their nakedness. However, that was not the case. The truth is both were fully aware of their own and the other person’s nudity. Otherwise, it would not have been so recorded in the Bible. The only difference was that, although they were aware of their starkness, they did not know if it was good or bad to be naked. Therefore, they had no opinion about it. So the awareness was there alright and shared by them both.
Meanwhile, the fact that they were not ashamed of their own or each other’s nakedness pointed to the level of freedom they derived from each other’s company. Each had no reason to cover his or her private parts in the sight of their partner. They were comfortable in their own skin and had had no feeling of self-consciousness being with each other.
As straightforward as this may sound, it is not a common practice among married couples, either those in the early days when civilization was not so rife, or those in our modern world today. While there are marriages where the partners are pretty close and intimate, with no holds barred or any secret they would rather not have the other person know about, couples since Adam and Eve’s era have always been guarded and secretive with each other. So, it is refreshing to note the disposition of the first couple to openness.
No matter their mistakes or whatever we may think of them concerning the fruit they ate (we may never hear the end of that!), Adam and Eve set an example for all married couples across the age in terms of intimacy and openness. They had no inhibition whatsoever in their dealing with each other. They had no boundary, no borders, no trespass or no-go area.
They were pretty much a cozy couple, and they must have had a good time exploring the intimate parts of each other’s life and frame without feeling violated or disrespected, or having an intention to do so. That is worth emulating.
Bosses in the Bible: A Boss that Empowers Now when Abram heard that his brother was taken captive, he armed his three hundred and eighteen trained servants who were born…
Bosses in the Bible: A Boss that Empowers
Now when Abram heard that his brother was taken captive, he armed his three hundred and eighteen trained servants who were born in his own house, and went in pursuit as far as Dan. He divided his forces against them by night, and he and his servants attacked them and pursued them as far as Hobah, which is north of Damascus. So he brought back all the goods, and also brought back his brother Lot and his goods, as well as the women and the people. – Genesis 14:14-16
Another good example we can learn from Abraham’s character is that he was an astute boss who believed in the development of his workers. He was a classic example of a boss who empowers his workers.
It is interesting that this unique ideology of human capital development was not lost to Abraham several thousand years ago, whereas many modern bosses seem to be oblivious of its importance and therefore do not subscribe to it. From the reference passage, when Abraham learned that his nephew had been captive he mobilized his men, all of them slaves born in his house, to go and battle the ravaging kings who took his brother captive.
It is curious that these men, the whole 318 of them, were born in Abraham’s house at a time when the number of slaves one had was one of the metrics for assets, because the more slaves one had, the more workers he would have working his farm.
Meanwhile, Abraham was different as a boss, he did not bask in the glory of cheap labor added to him, on the contrary, he was vested in the development and empowerment of his workers, a fact that was demonstrated in the way he trained them all in important life skills, one of which was fighting in battle.
Imagine if Abraham had not invested in training his workers and developing their capacity to do much more beyond plant cultivation and animal husbandry. Imagine if he had condemned all his workers to only till the land or rear livestock. For sure, he would not have been able to call on them for battle when he needed an army to advance and take on the kings who took his brother away.
As noted earlier, it is refreshing that Abraham knew and practised this desirable attribute in a principal. That was why he could call his workers when he needed them and rely on them to deliver at the battlefront, thus enhancing the success of his war campaign to free Lot. The workers you do not empower may not deliver.
Another lesson we can learn from God is His disposition to a balancing act. He is not a God of extremes. Even though some who profess to follow Him go to extremes in His name or make extreme claims on His behalf, extreme is not a label that one can pin on God. He balances the acts.
Understanding God: He is Not Moved by Sentiments
Another lesson we can learn from the personality of God is that sentiments do not move Him. Therefore, He cannot be deceived into making a wrong judgment or call, as humans tend to do.
Understanding God: He is A Creator
He is a Creator. This is not to be interpreted loosely, particularly in the light of our contemporary use of the word. God is the ultimate Creator, as He created all things, even the ends of the earth (Isaiah 40:28).
Understanding God: God of the Beginning
There is no better way to begin this journey of exploring the people and entities in the Bible than to start with God. He is not just the beginning but is the origin of all things.
Women in the Bible: A Paragon of Beauty
What made Sarah’s beauty so compelling that kings and nations took notice? Explore the deeper layers of grace, favour, and mystery surrounding one of Scripture’s most unforgettable women — and discover why her story still provokes wonder today.
Men in the Bible: A Man of Ambition and Adventure
Terah may not have reached Canaan, but his courage to start a life-changing journey laid the foundation for Abraham’s destiny. Discover how ambition and bold steps mark a life of significance.
Men in the Bible: An Impetuous and Impudent Man
A revealing glimpse into a man whose choices exposed deeper issues of character, showing how hastiness and entitlement can quietly shape a destiny, and why his story still speaks to us today.
Men in the Bible: A Man with Little Foresight
Sometimes what looks like a smart choice can hide the seed of a mistake. This reflection from Scripture invites us to think again about how foresight — or the lack of it — shapes a man’s story.
Men in the Bible: The First Man to Tithe
Before laws, temples, or traditions, one man honoured God with his substance. Abraham’s tithe was not commanded, demanded, or enforced. It flowed from reverence.
Fathers in the Bible: A Destiny-Shaping Father
What makes a man a truly aware father? Discover how one man’s prophetic foresight shaped his son’s destiny and changed generations forever.
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